Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
In the course of applying to be a sub in my kids' school district, I had to get fingerprinted. It made me wonder: how many prospective school employees make it to that point in the application process, willingly give their prints, and get found out as being a wanted felon? These are the kinds of questions that bother me, that but I couldn't exactly ask without it seeming damn suspicious.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
I gaped at the nasty little thing for a solid minute, my brain not willing to accept what I was seeing.
"Tom?" I called to the closed bathroom door, "I'm going to need you to come out here."
"Uh, I'm kind of busy in here," he said.
"No. No. I really, really need you to come out and see this," I said, unable to tear my eyes away from the horror on the Kleenex. And unless I was mistaken ... yes, it was starting to wave its little legs around. It was alive. And had been in my mouth.
Tom was gratifyingly appalled when I told him what had happened and showed him the evidence. I ran into the bathroom to gargle extensively, scrape my tongue , brush my teeth, and start again with the gargling, trying to get rid of the sensation of bug in my mouth holy shit buginmymouth there was a BUG in my aaargg MOUTH arrrggg!
I heard the front door open and close while I was systematically gargling my way through a quart of Listerine. When Tom came back into the bedroom, I asked him wildly, "Did you just go outside and SET IT FREE?"
"No," he said grimly, "No, I burned it. It was that horrifying."
"Oh," I said and thought about that. "That actually makes me feel a little better. Thank you."
Whoever said chivalry is dead?
Sidenote: This has officially taken the top spot in My Personal Brushes with Grossness. Previously, that spot had been occupied by the time I was sitting eating a Healthy Choice vanilla pudding cup by the light of the TV. One minute, creamy deliciousness. Next minute? Something large and bulky and WRONG in my mouth. Something that turned out to be a random broccoli spear. It was revolting, but seems positively tame now compared to buginmymouth.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Most supermodels don't openly express disdain for the photographer's camera angles:
Or supply this gem of an expression when asked to "look pleasant":
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Well, keep in mind that it was HOT that day. Like, jungle hot. Not a cloud in the sky. High humidity. Scorching sun. Sweat dribbled constantly from my scalp down into my eyes, and even my purse felt cloyingly hot pressed against my side.
The girls were as excited as preschoolers to find a misting station on that hot afternoon. Even Papa joined them under the cooling mist.