Saturday, September 15, 2012

Hey. Remember me?

It's shamefully hard to write that first post after an absence of ... holy crap, 18 months??!  In my defense, it has been an 18 months of life on full-tilt, brick strapped to the acceleration pedal, who the hell put speed in my coffee, fast-forward madness.  On the other hand, when is it not?

In brief:  I went back to teaching high school full-time.  I also agreed to produce three school plays a year and head up the drama club.  My own kids suddenly morphed into teenagers with full social calendars and activities rosters.  I realized that sleep is precious and coffee is not only delicious, but completely freaking necessary to my existence.  Oh, and just for fun, I decided that I'd take 40 high schoolers to New York City over spring break next year.  Why the hell not, right?

It's been wonderful.

I had no idea how much I'd missed teaching and coaching drama until I dipped my toe back in in 2011. Then a position opened up, the school health insurance sang its alluring siren song of co-paaaaays!  looooooower preeeemiums!  and I realized that teaching full-time would obviously require a snappy new wardrobe and cute accessories.  You know, FOR THE CHILDREN.

And did I mention that I am an English teacher?  Translation:  can impulse-buy books with impunity.  ALSO FOR THE CHILDREN.  Tom has a slightly different take on this.  Something along the lines of, "Just because you now earn a salary does not mean you need to spend that salary in total every week."  I'm confused.  Why, then, do people work?  Also, those new grey suede wedges I'm eyeing will make me a much more dynamic and effective teacher.  Why would the students take me seriously about appositive phrases if I'm wearing last year's shoes?  It's all about credibility.  (I don't think he even bothered to roll his eyes at me).

Yesterday my students and I discussed how the grammar book obviously hires the most boring people in the world to write the sample sentences.  Together, we rewrote them, changing sentences like, "Susan happily handed the textbook to John." to things like, "The bald llama menacingly tossed the grenade at me."  As they packed up their books at the bell, one boy said, "This grammar is actually fun."  I didn't bother to tell him that it's the same old grammar; only the words are changed.  And language SHOULD be fun.  "Grammar" and "laughing yourself wheezy" are not necessarily mutually exclusive.

I've missed you guys.  It's good to be back.