Monday, August 30, 2010

As Promised ... The Outtakes

Thank you, THANK YOU, all who voted! You made two end-of-the-summer, bored and cranky sisters happy and excited. Except for one small kerfluffle when Bug "accidentally" marked down one of Bear's votes instead of Bear doing it herself (the problem? Bear claims that Bug's tick marks are too thick to be aesthetically pleasing ... sigh), it has been a peaceful last weekend of summer.

So, here, in gratitude are the outtakes of that photo shoot. And, just to be crystal clear, 96% of the photos were outtakes, with a few good ones sprinkled throughout with the scarcity of chocolate chips in store-brand ice cream.

It is with no real regret that I come to terms with the fact that neither of my children have what it takes to be a supermodel. Although the $10,000/hour paycheck would come in darn handy when it comes time to pay college tuition, it's not a lifestyle I'd wish on a kid. I'm sure you'll agree once you see these photos, they just don't have what it takes.

Unless there's a niche market for modelling superhero costumes? Bear seems to have a certain panache that would lend itself to that:Although I'm guessing that most supermodels don't spontaneously adjust their orthodonture while the camera is clicking away:
Or quiz the photographer mercilessly about what's for lunch:
Lucky for me, what they lack in professionalism, they make up for in distractibility.

Bug (as I'm snapping away): Hey, when does this bush flower? Doesn't it get berries?Bear (mid-shot suddenly spins to open the playhouse window): Is our old kitchen play set still in here?
Most supermodels don't openly express disdain for the photographer's camera angles:
Or force the photographer to take a shot of their shoes because "they're really cute, and I can tell you're not getting them in the picture."
Or supply this gem of an expression when asked to "look pleasant":
Or choose a Billy Bob Thornton circa Slingblade expression when told to "smile naturally":

Or have to be told, "Stop looking at the frogs instead of the camera!" And especially not to have to be told that more than twice in a five minute span.
And this? I don't even know what this is, but I can guarantee you that supermodels don't do this in the middle of a shoot:
I'm also pretty sure that fashion photographers don't have to make lunch for their models after the shoot, only to be told that "These aren't the kind of chicken nuggets we like, and the grapes are starting to get soft."


smalltownmom said...

Yes, the shoes are very cute. They deserve a picture.

Susan said...

Always glad to see that other children are as uncooperative as my own! And supermodels don't eat anything but salad with no dressing and sparkling water - doncha know!

Jen on the Edge said...

Wow, tough crowd over there. I know you'll be happy to get them off to school.

And you deserve a spa day after all that!

Dawn in Austin said...

Oh yes, a spa day for you, for sure!

I'm glad mine weren't the only ones to make rude faces at the photographer. Such gratitude, right?

Nana said...

Who are these girls and what happened to my sweet granddaughers??? :)

imbeingheldhostage said...

I LOVE this post. I am so happy someone else has "interesting" outtakes :-) These photos would actually make a pretty cute mini-scrap book.

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