Wednesday, September 3, 2008

My Kids Are a Little Weird

I know this isn't exactly news to many of you, especially given the gene pool that produced Bug and Bear. For the most part, I'm pretty immune to the weirdness. I mean, come on, I live with Daddy Shortbread, who is practically a fount of insanity on his better days. But once in awhile, Bug and Bear step beyond the bounds of what I like to think of as acceptable weirdness.

This weekend, Bug and Bear managed to catch a grasshopper. After dithering back and forth about what to do with this good-sized and slightly rowdy specimen, they popped him into an empty water bottle. Bear tossed some grass in for him to munch and poked holes in the cap.

Pretty normal kid stuff so far, right?

Next they produced a plastic boat, in which they carefully propped the bottle. This they took into the pool with them. For a few minutes, they were content to just push the boat placidly around the pool, like a Grasshopper Yacht. Awww, you're sweet. Just wait.

Finally, Bug jumped up and down with her floatie to produce waves. The Grasshopper Yacht was tossed hither and yon on the violent sea like... a little plastic boat. Periodically Bear would check to see if the grasshopper had thrown up. Nice.
They named him George. Then they demanded that I take their picture with him.
Once George was humanely released out in the yard (to warn the other grasshoppers to take cover), we proceeded to Kids Doing Pool Tricks and Yelling for Mom to Watch Them. Entertaining at the beginning of the summer, this now ranks right alongside scrubbing baseboards on the list of things I enjoy. Here is Bear showing me how she can do a complete somersault with her floatie for the eleventy billionth time this summer.
"Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, MOM!" Bug yells, waving arms and jumping.
"Bug, I'm taking your picture. Do you really think I'm not watching?" I ask.
"I just wanted to make sure you have your zoom lens on for this trick," she replies.


Nana said...

Personally, I think Maisy and Mittens are the only sane ones in your family! :) Oh, wait a minute - I just remembered some REALLY strange things Maisy does, so Mittens gets the honor all to herself.

Poor George.

Nana said...

For the record, my kids are a little weird, too.