Bear: Hi, Mommy.
Me: Hi, kiddo!
Bear: So did you hear what's happening up here?
Me: What do you mean?
Bear (very matter of fact): There was an armed robbery at a bank near the university, so they put the whole campus on lockdown.
Bear: The guy escaped, and they haven't found him yet.
Me: Where are you?
Bear: We had to go to the basement of the dorm. They just now let us go up to our rooms, but we can't leave the building.
Me (frantically logging on to the computer to find a news update): OK, honey. Are you all right?
Bear (sounding distracted): Yeah. Hey, I think they might get us pizza for dinner!
Now I tend to be pretty good at thinking up potential random disaster scenarios in my head, and I had already worried about Bear having a nut allergy reaction at camp, developing appendicitis, dorm fires, and whether there would be a lifeguard when they went swimming. I confess that armed robbery had not occurred to me. I guess I need to start thinking bigger in my paranoia.
All's well that ends well, and they ended the lockdown an hour or so later in time for the kids to go to the dining hall for dinner. Bear was mostly bummed that they didn't get to order pizza.