Scene: This morning. Temperature: 92 degrees. Humidity: Off the fricking charts, judging my my hair-o-meter. [Meaning I can see frizz out of both sides of my peripheral vision simultaneously. It's a fairly exact science].Me: I want to get a nice 4th of July picture by the flags and the garden. Come on, you two. Smile!
Bear: It's too bright. I can't keep my eyes open. (much exaggerated squinting)
Bug whining and shifting from foot to foor): My feeeeet hurt.
Me (growl): Smile.
Bug: Can't we do this inside? It's too sunny.
Me: Then it wouldn't be by the flags or the garden, would it? Now stand closer together.
Bear: I can't stand too close to her. I'm on a slope. I'll look freakishly tall.
Me: Fine. Then switch places.
Bug: What?! No. Then I'll look freakishly tall.
Me: FOR GOD'S SAKE JUST STAND NEXT TO EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MY HAIR JUST FRIZZED OUT TWO MORE INCHES WHILE I STOOD HERE NOT TAKING A FOURTH OF JULY PHOTO.
Bear (under her breath): Jeez...
Bug (blinks in bewildered manner): OK. Hey, will we be done here soon?
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All that, my friends, to bring you these two Fourth of July photos of these seemingly angelic sisters. DO NOT BE FOOLED.
They're off at the parade with Tom right now, while I sip coffee in the air conditioning and recover from our photo session. No, actually, I stayed home to rest my wretched foot, whose feeble limits I pushed yesterday.
"Just a soft tissue injury! Probably!" said the doctor on Wednesday. "They can take quite a while to heal. Try to stay off of it and wear ugly shoes." Well actually, she said "shoes with better support than those", while gesturing to my adorable leather thongs with silver accents. There was also some talk about wrapping it in an Ace bandage, which ... no. An Ace bandage in 178% humidity? Methinks wallowing in a pool with my foot propped up on its very own floatie is a much more pleasant scenario.
I took my traitorous foot and the girls down to the park yesterday to hear an Elton John tribute band play and eat ridiculously unhealthy fair food. Note: eating fried dough while sitting in the shade of a willow tree on a riverbank listening to a band play is suspiciously close to heaven. Only my ugly shoes kept me tethered in reality.
Happy Independence Day!
PS: Oddly, the foot really doesn't hurt much while I'm walking on it. Just mildly burny. It's later, once I'm off of it that it aches like a sonofabitch. Anyone else ever experienced that phenomenon? I'd welcome any input, since I still don't really know what's wrong with it.
