Because Why Would I Give You Interesting, When There Is So Much Weird?

As a nice counterbalance to the wide variety of craptastic events last week, Rose sent me this award. It made my day.

According to the rules of this award, I'm supposed to list 7 interesting things about myself. But since when I'm getting to know people, I most enjoy ferreting out out their bizarre little quirks and weird chapters from their pasts... that's what I'm going to share instead.

Consider it a random act of kindness. This list should make you feel much better about yourself.

1. I don't like metal utensils. My long, painful history with dental work has left me with a horror of anything metal in my mouth. If it weren't for trying to pretend I'm all normal and well-adjusted, and also the fact that it's damn hard to cut meat with a plastic knife, I'd use plastic utensils all the time. I absolutely have to use a plastic spoon for certain foods (yogurt, ice-cream, pudding); everything else I use metal for but am scrupulously careful never to let it touch my teeth. If somebody around me scrapes their fork on their teeth, I wince and have a minor breakdown back in a dark corner of my brain. Also, somewhere a fairy dies.

2. I seem to be incapable of putting on my clothes right-side-out. There have been way too many (more than four - that's all I'm admitting to) instances of people telling me gently in public that my shirt's on inside out. This may have its roots in a body image meltdown I had awhile back that culminated in my cutting out the tags in all of my clothes so that the sizes on the tags would stop taunting me. Add that to my general blindness without my glasses on, and you get an inability to discern which side of the shirt goes against my skin.

3. I'm kind of a freak about pronunciation. If Tom ever leaves me, it will because I've corrected his pronunciation one time too many. I know it's rude. I try really hard not to do it, and I never do it with friends or acquaintances. But here's the thing... if Tom mispronounces a word consistently, then the kids will start pronouncing it that way. So, really, my correcting him is simply good parenting. I'm doing it for the children.

4. I can take absolutely any medical symptom and diagnose myself with either cancer or appendicitis.

5. One of my favorite smells is dirt.

6. I worked as a butcher for two summers during college. One of my duties was to hose all the blood off the walls after the head meat-cutters went home for the day. (Note: not as glamorous as it sounds).

7. I quite enjoy bugs. This will no doubt amuse my parents, who lived through many years of my shrill screams and histrionics when I encountered a stray Daddy Long-legs in the shower or an errant earwig who traveled inside in our rolled-up newspaper. Now suddenly I've turned into the weirdo who transports bugs outside on an index card rather than kill them. Except mosquitoes. Mosquitoes I squish with malicious zeal.

I'm tagging Meg, Dawn, Lora, smalltownmom, and Cindy. Post the award on your blog and list seven interesting (or weird! I encourage weird!) things about yourself, and link back to me.