Natural Selection

When it comes to natural selection, I'm beginning to wonder if Bear would make the cut. I say this with all the love in my heart, but seriously, how can someone be so smart and so clueless at the same exact time?

Today is January 15th. We live in Maine. It is Winter. It is -9 degrees. And gusty. I don't think it would be exaggerating at all to call those conditions COLD, do you?

And yet ... while she conceded that it was winter coat weather, I had to fight with her to get her to accept that things like gloves, a hat, and SOCKS, for Chrissake, were necessary today. You know, so Child Services doesn't come take her away.

Birthday Anticipation

Scene: Bug's room, after school yesterday

Me: Guess what? I bought you a birthday present today!

Bug: Cool! When will you wrap it up so I can shake it?

The Best 2008 Photos You Never Saw ...(Part the Second)

So it turns out that I take a phenomenal number of pictures during the summer months. It's taken me quite awhile just to sift through those three months. Here are the ones I felt you needed to see in order for your lives to be complete:

June
This is typical of the photos I find when I upload from the old camera's memory card. The kids are allowed to use it, and I have no idea what they've been shooting until I open the photo files on my computer. This particular day there were about twelve shots of different Barbie "families." (Be sure to note the poor kid with apparent hydroencephalitis, second row left). I peg Bug as the most likely photographer. A warm June afternoon, a shady porch, and a book.A little seabird I found on Pemaquid Beach. I like this because it almost looks like a black and white photo. But not quite. And for some reason this pleases meBug flashes me an "I love you" in sign language as she swims by.Probably the weirdest-looking flower in my garden - Monarda, or more commonly bee balm.

July
Some day I predict Bug will be furious with me for posting this picture. For now, though, enjoy the vision that is The Pig Girl of Central Maine. The takeaway lesson here is that swim masks may be convenient, but they're sure as hell not going to win you any beauty contests.

This is a classic example of a photo just looked "eh" to me when I first took it, but now strikes me as almost heartbreakingly beautiful. I'd like to be on a sunwarmed sand path that winds through blooming beach roses down to the ocean RIGHT NOW PLEASE.

I spend a lot of time staring at pictures of the past summer's garden (shown here an Italian White Sunflower) during the bleak winter months, just to remind myself that my yard will be green again someday. It's my own version of Seasonal Affective Disorder Therapy, since I can't afford to jet down to the Bahamas for some therapeutic sunshine.

We noticed this license plate hanging on the wall in a Bar Harbor restaurant. Wrong county, but still...

August

A peaceful moment during a family hike in August, taken after I almost lost my balance taking pictures and toppled off a footbridge into a creek and before Bug freaked out because there was a dead spider on the trail that she didn't want to step over... Bug points out a tree we discovered during the same hike that's thisclose to being felled by a beaver. I once read that a beaver can chew through a six-inch diameter tree trunk in 15 minutes. That makes my teeth hurt just thinking about it. Role reversal. Bug gives Grandma a craft lesson: how to make a wreath from a paper bag and silk flowers. Grandma was a very good pupil.

I know that summer is ending when I begin to hear the crickets chirping at night and when the gladiolas bloom. So while I love their tall stalks full of ruffly blooms, the sight of them is always a little bittersweet.This little treasure surfaced on a memory card amongst a series of self-portraits of Bear, followed by numerous pictures of stuffed animals, then suddenly this staged shot of Maisy looking like La Grande Odalisque sprawled on an artfully flower-strewn bed. You're all getting poster-sized prints next Christmas.

The Best 2008 Photos You Never Saw (Part the First)

Throughout the year I take photos that strike me for one reason or another but that never make it into a blog post. I'd thought I'd share a few standouts with you.

JANUARY

Sometimes I find them interesting only in retrospect. Like this one. I can clearly remember snapping this photo of Bear struggling to walk through the front yard after an early January snowfall. Wow! That's a ton of snow! I thought. Ha ha fricking ha. I had no clue the feet upon feet of snow lurking in our near future, as we were pummelled by one record-breaking storm after another, right through March. It got to the point where the girls couldn't cross the front yard at all. The snowpack was waist-deep.

This one I just like. Happy Birthday, Daddy Shortbread. (You'll always be older than me)!

FEBRUARY

Apparently I don't take many photos (at least not interesting ones) in February.

MARCH

Or March.

APRIL

This one is destined to be a family classic. Bug shares her Nana's talent (?) for weird tongue tricks, and they were demonstrating proudly in tandem for the camera, while Bear and I laughed hysterically. Finally, even Nana couldn't keep a straight face anymore, but Bug soldiered on.

Bear on log. I can't get over how much younger she looks here, still more kid than pre-teen. She has matured and changed so much this past year that it's hard to believe this was taken only nine months ago.

This shows the creek engineers hard at work. They spend many happy spring hours down in our little creek. They slosh right through the sun-warmed water, "rescue" waterbugs and tadpoles in plastic buckets, and cart around planks and branches to construct dams and bridges. It's childhood at its finest, and I never get tired of spying on them as they toil away.

MAY

This demonstrates clearly the horror that is Bear in allergy season. What the hell possessed me to try to photograph her in all her puffy red-eyed glory, surrounded by the delicate blossoms of the crabapple tree...? At least she had the presence of mind to insert some humor into the situation. Poor itchy, sneezy Bear.

This one I may have posted before. Did I? I'm way too lazy to go back through the archives to look. It shows Mittens the Patient and Long-Suffering Kitty, dolled up in one of Bear's old baby dresses. Don't you think it sets off her eyes? There's something about the look of resignation on her face that makes me think she's reconsidering the house full of pitbulls that we rescued her from.

Ohio-rama: The Highlights

There were presents. Lots and lots of presents. Try to picture how many presents you could stuff under a seven-foot Christmas tree. Got it? Double that. Now picture how many garbage bags full of wrapping paper we had to throw out and allow yourself a small shudder in the name of global warming.
There were very happy children, who last month had moaned that they were the very LAST children on earth to get a Nintendo DS, who finally received a Nintendo DS. They were smitten, to say the least. Slack-jawed with absorption might be more accurate.
As with any gathering of my side of the family, there were cats. This is Ollie, the little orange man. Not pictured are Brini and Gracie, who were nonetheless the recipients of many pets and scritches on their fuzzy little heads. Whether they wanted them or not.
There were expertly-prepared meals. And yummy restaurant meals. And boxes of truffles. And chocolate-dipped shortbread cookies. And apple dumplings. And French toast casserole. And they were goooooood.

I need a Tums just thinking about it.

There were snuggles with Nana.

And cuddles with Papa.

There were crazy children who slept about an hour and a half on Christmas Eve, then collapsed in exhaustion on the couch Christmas Day and slept for three hours.

There was a trip to visit Great-Grandpa in the nursing home New Year's Eve.
There was the holy-crap-I've-been-forgetting-to-take-pictures-quick-everyone-stand-in-front-of-the-hotel-continental-breakfast! photo. Doesn't everyone have one of these in the family album? Look, I even got in the packages of Froot Loops, so future generations can fully appreciate my insanity.
It all made up for the crapola winter driving conditions we weathered (get it?) to make it out there.

Resolved.

On the trip home from Ohio, we discussed our New Year's Resolutions. We decided that they should be both in the spirit of self-improvement and achievable.

Me: I resolve to exercise more and to finish my book in 2009.

Daddy Shortbread: I resolve to exercise more and organize our family's financial files.

Bug: I resolve to be nicer to my sister.

Bear: I resolve to keep my room neater.

**************************************************************
Later today I plan to upload all of the photo files from the trip, so eventually there will be some holiday photos posted, just as soon as I scrutinize them for any incriminating evidence of my holiday eating free-for-all.

Right now we're digging out from trip laundry, restocking the fridge, and chauffering the social butterflies around. Can you believe they both had invitations from friends after being home less than 24 hours?? Sheesh.

**************************************************************
What are your New Year's Resolutions? We'd like to hear 'em.