Hormonal With a Side of Crabby Condescension

Look at this face:Sweet, right? HA. Looks can be deceiving, folks. We have officially entered the years of Hormone-Induced Nastiness.

Typical conversation around here:

Me: Bear, could you go pick up the three days' worth of dirty clothes off your floor?

Bear: (silence)

Me: Bear, did you hear me?

*crickets*

Me: Bear?

Bear: FINE!!

Or this conversation...

Bug: Bear, could you pass the cereal box to me?

Bear: (silence)

Bug: Bear-

Bear: I HEAR YOU. Geez, Bug, get off my back.

Bug (confused, but always game for an argument): I'm not on your back! I'm not even touching you!

Bear (with withering stare): It's a FIGURE of SPEECH, Bug.

P.S. - Mom, I can totally hear you laughing all the way out here.

They're Heeeere!

Blackflies. Lots. I was bombarded yesterday while waiting for the school bus. The horde of blackflies swirling around my head seemed unable to reach a consensus as to whether they'd rather crawl up my nose or just gouge hunks out of my flesh with their tiny, tiny jaws.

In such a situation, there's really only one thing to do. As Mark Twain said, “Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.” Goddamn right.

Waiting for the Fun...

So I went today to get highlights put in my hair for the first time. It turned out waaay more blonde than I expected, but I think I like it. I think. It still scares the crap out of me every time I look in the mirror. (And, Dad, this is NOT your cue to say, "So how is this different from any other time you look in the mirror?")

How Did I Not Know About This Holiday??

Apparently, May 6th is International No Diet Day http://www.largesse.net/INDD/index.html

I would like to request a do-over, since I only had Shredded Wheat for breakfast and would definitely have whipped up some cinnamon rolls had I known.

Free: One Kid. You Haul.

Every June the fifth graders take a one-day field trip to Boston. They visit the Aquarium and the Science Museum. Since third grade, when Bear got wind of this trip, she has been adamant that she does not want to go.

"Why?"

"I don't know."

The reasons she gives have fluctuated with the years. She's afraid of getting carsick. She isn't really interested in seeing Boston (this from the kid who is fascinated by history). She heard they'd be seeing an exhibit of dead people. (They aren't). The trip would take too long on a bus (actually a valid point, but I didn't concede it). She doesn't want to see the Science Museum. She probably wouldn't have anyone to sit with on the bus. Now with the peanut allergy, she has a new fear - that the restaurant they eat dinner in wouldn't be peanut-free.

Sidenote: I contacted her teacher weeks ago about the difficulty of her dealing with the peanut issue on this trip. She said that I could have a chaperone spot, which is a total score. Tons of parents volunteer; the lucky few are drawn out of a hat.

Even knowing I would be going AND bringing Dramamine AND finding out if the restaurant was OK for her didn't reassure Bear. She moped and moped and moped about it.

I asked her to make a list of some concrete reasons for not wanting to go on this field trip. She listed 12. About 2 were grounded in some form of reality. I talked it over with Tom. I found out from her teacher that the trip was optional. We decided that she has herself so worked up over it that she probably wouldn't enjoy it anyway. We caved.

She smiled happily and hugged me when I told her. I was disappointed that she'd be missing out on a really cool trip, but pleased to ease her anxieties. And, hey, we'd be making a family trip down to Boston at some point in the near future.

Ten minutes later she drifted back into the kitchen, "Mom? I might want to go on the Boston trip, OK?"

God help me.

My Sister-in-Law is Way Cool

Why, you ask?

Well, today I came home to find a box on my front porch. Things were already looking promising.

Inside the box, under layers of tissue in a cute little DLM box and artfully wrapped in individual cellophane bags, were these:

But wait. There's more. She sent them to me not only because she's a sweetie, but she also wants my opinion on them. I dearly love to be asked my opinion, especially about food. Plus! This pretty much requires me to sample quite a few cookies, so I can give her a really good opinion. I mean, the first cookie and even the second might be delightful, but something could have gone horribly wrong with, say, the fifth cookie. I have to be really scientific about this. I feel like I owe her that much.

Yummmmm...

P.S.: I convinced the girls that even though they each got a cookie after school that I had to take a bite out of each of theirs. Really.